Last month, I told you about Debbie, who was being seriously bullied at her job. The blog provided 7 culture-boosting steps a firm must take to protect their workforce.
As promised, I am dedicating this blog post to employees. If you or your coworkers are struggling with a hostile work environment, here are …
7 Smart Strategies to Safeguard Yourself from Workplace Bullies
1) Recognize a real bully: Everyone is entitled to an occasional bad day. Don’t mistake a hostile comment or an icy response as bullying. Once a pattern of hostility begins to emerge, you can confirm that you are truly being bullied.
2) Communicate, don’t confront: As difficult as this may seem, you must remove all emotion when dealing with your harasser. No matter how nervous, angry, stressed or confused you feel, pull yourself together and address the issue professionally. Deal with it as soon as it happens, and as often as it happens.
If the bullying occurs in private, look the bully in the eye and very calmly tell them what you think. “I thing (not feel) that what you just said is inappropriate/rude/unacceptable. Please don’t speak to me like that again.” No matter what the response, do not veer off course. Repeat the same statement, if necessary.
What if the treatment occurs in a group setting? I would recommend doing exactly the same thing as above. In fact, having a witness present during this face-to-face discussion is a plus. The key is to remain calm, confident and steady.
3) Document every detail: As a bullying pattern emerges, it is vital that you have a detailed paper trail. Write down the scenario, time and place that events occur. If there are witnesses, include their names in the documentation.
4) Find strength in numbers: You may not be the only person on the bully’s radar. Keep your eyes and ears open; reach out to colleagues who are experiencing similar abuses. You and your coworkers will be empowered if you are able to deal with the situations as a team. If possible, a compiled list of offenses can be delivered to HR. This type of broad-ranging evidence is difficult for a firm to deny.
5) Escalate the matter: If the hostilities and poor treatment continue, take your grievance to the next level. If the perpetrator is a coworker, discuss it with your manager. However, if you are dealing with a bully boss, contact a department head or HR (or both) and lay out your complaint in writing. Continue to keep detailed records of the entire process. Let them know that the firm is required to provide a safe and healthy work environment. Request that the offender be transferred to another department or ask for another acceptable resolution. Schedule a follow-up discussion to fully resolve the situation.
6) Put your health before your job: Nothing is worth physical and psychological illness. If you find that the treatment you receive at work is affecting your sleeping, eating, vital signs or emotional wellness, contact your EAP (Employee Assistance Program) to help you address your issues. You may need to take some time off and get medical intervention for whatever is ailing you. Be certain that you are strong and stable enough to deal with whatever may come your way.
7) Hire an employment attorney–or quit: Bullying is not illegal. True, words can hurt people in numerous ways. But, the law walks a fine line between freedom of speech and personal defamation. Plus, there is a possibility that your firm will side with the bully and put the blame on you. They may even “manage you out” or fire you.
Some people choose to contact an employment lawyer to explore the possibility of legal action. But be warned: according to the Workplace Bullying Institute, “the injustice that resulted from bullying is rarely reversed by lawsuits. Lawsuits in the U.S. are bound by existing laws. U.S. labor laws provide embarrassingly few worker protections. Lawsuits are expensive.”
Want my advice? Decide what will make you happiest and then follow that path. If you demand justice and want to fight for it, find a qualified lawyer and take it on. (Frequently, legal proceedings in these situations lead to negotiating a mutual parting and a hearty financial settlement.) On the other hand, you may not feel a sense of relief until you remove yourself from the environment. If that’s the case, start looking for a new job and put this experience behind you as quickly as possible.
Just as employers are free to fire at-will, so too are you free to leave. Every day, and for many different reasons, I find myself telling unhappy workers the same thing: You are not a prisoner. As difficult as it is to find a job in today’s market, take control and stop feeling victimized.
Have you been the victim of bullying on the job? How did you handle it? Your insight and advice would be welcomed in the comment box below. Thanks!