I was raised to be like everyone else. I was taught, “fit in, conform, make no waves and you will do fine.” However, I had a mind of my own and did the opposite.
Now, as an adult and a parent, I find myself teaching different lessons to my kids…. “We’re all different, and meant to be that way.”
“Surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are.”
“Don’t be a follower.”
“Don’t try to shape yourself into who you THINK you SHOULD BE. Just be YOU.”
Why am I sharing this personal information with you? Well, the other day my son picked up a business card of a family friend. He looked at it and asked me, “Who is Don Golden?” I explained that it is actually Ira D. Goldenblatt’s business card. He’s a National Sales Manager for a luxury-brand line of products. Early in his career, Ira decided that his ethnic-sounding name would hurt his chances for success. By changing his name for business only, he hoped to strategically overcome possible workplace bias. My son was puzzled.
I went on to tell him other stories of people I have known in business, who were less-than-authentic; friends and co-workers who hid their diversity for fear of discrimination.
“LINDA”, an attractive Marketing Director in her late 30s, was actually pushing 50. She managed her calendar wisely, using every sick day, vacation day and personal day throughout the year. Returning from her time off, she always looked well rested and somehow revived. It turns out that she was keeping up a steady schedule of plastic surgery and facial rejuvenation to “appear” (and tell all that she was) younger than her years.
‘HARRY” was an incredibly handsome guy who charmed the heck out of every woman in the office. Every week it seemed that another young lady was asking, “Does he like me or is he just a big flirt?” We worked together for 5 years. I assumed Harry was an eternal bachelor but a few years ago I was shocked to see his same-sex marriage announcement in the New York Times.
‘DARLA” was a successful programmer for over 7 years. She did well working one-on-one with management and training junior programmers in the organization. When the company was acquired by a much larger firm, Darla’s job became less structured. She began receiving conflicting instructions from various executives. Suddenly, Darla appeared chronically disorganized. Concerned about her performance, Darla decided to disclose her Asperger’s Syndrome to HR.
Every day there are people in the workplace hiding their true selves for self-preservation or for future opportunity. Are they right to do so? Given today’s unstable business environment, this is indeed a moral dilemma. What do you think?
The issue of what to share with an employer is an interesting issue. Some individuals have a visible issue that disclosing information is neccessary and others have issues that are not noticable at first. The question to ask is what are the barriers to employment for the individual and what is the pros and/or cons to disclosure. For some, the disclosure can offer tax benefits to the employer, give the individual the ability to have a job coach assist him/her if he/she qualifies for DVRS (Division of Vocation Rehabilitation Services).
After being trained to work with individuals with disabilities, I have come to realize how assuming “able bodied” individuals are without being educated on modifications that can range from minor changes to assisted devices in the workplace. Sometimes, depending on the individual’s issues, the assisted devices may be provided by DVRS.
When hiring, consider the potential of the individual relative to your company’s needs and what training and/or accommodations can be made. An employee that is valued and keeps the business’ best interest in mind is typically one wanted by the company. When selling your abilities, focus on selling into the company’s business needs and show how your “abilities” (including quirkness, issues, etc. as we all have something) will help drive results.