I recently took a short break from an otherwise hectic business day to attend a “Lunch and Learn” seminar with a local working mother’s group. The discussion centered around Parenting For Busy Professionals. The conversation took on a life of its own and before long it morphed into a discussion about my favorite subject: The Workforce!
As the group discussed common parenting issue, stories started flying about adult children, post-college age, who were having difficulty in the working world. Examples included:
* A junior associate with a ivy league law degree quit his job after 3 months, citing the demeaning tasks he was asked to do.
* An intern walked away from a plum position with the #1 wall street player because the pay was “unacceptably low. “
* A trust fund kid got a once in a lifetime chance to produce a movie… he blew every penny he had raised to invest in the project
* A junior publicist with a big japanese firm quit when asked to fill in at the receptionist’s desk while she was out sick.
* A pharma rep complained to her supervisor about the company car, stating that the competitors provided the more expensive model.
* A young stylist/fashion consultant with a successful following still lives at home, works up to 13 hours a day. She maxed-out her credit cards and has to ask parents for money to buy lunch.
How could this happen, the moms wondered out loud? After all, these kids were raised in affluent suburbs and given every advantage … great educations… wonderful homes … they never had to “want” for anything?
The moderator pointed out that lax parenting could be to blame for these young professionals’ blunders. While some in attendance criticized popular culture and its focus on materialism, many were forced to recognize the role THEY played in raising entitled, spoiled and ungrateful young adults.
Here’s a run-down of this very enlightening and inspiring discussion:
5 Parenting Pitfalls that can Screw up your Kids’ Future Careers
(and how to undo them…)
#1: Making Life Too Easy: Yes, some days can be boring, others can be difficult, but that’s life! It may be easier for a parent to simply write their kid’s essays than to hear them whine and complain. But kids must learn to do for themselves. Let little ones pick out their own outfit…make older kids put away their own clean laundry. Show them they are capable and competent, allow them to fail and teach them that their efforts — and all work — is purposeful.
#2: Breaking Promises: If you say you are going to be at the soccer game or ballet recital, be there! After all, one day your child will be relied upon and expected to show up somewhere. So take every opportunity to show him/her the value of trust and reliability and your behavior will be a model for their later years.
#3: Social Engineering: Although they don’t admit it (or even realize it) parents who believe that new BMW or a huge Sweet 16 party will enhance their kids’ social life, are instilling some very dangerous values. Teaching children to building relationships through mutual respect and trust is vital. This it he foundation for building all future relationships, including business relationships and love connections.
#4: Giving Handouts Instead of Hugs: Many parents give their kids an abundance of “stuff” because they can’t/don’t want to give their kids what they need most: Their TIME. For many kids, material possessions take the place of love and emotional support. Instead of “stuff”, give your kids quality time, teach them the value of hard work and discuss values at an early age.
#5: Becoming a Human ATM: The movies. A manicure. A day at the mall. Sure, your kids need spending money, but can’t they earn it themselves? Whether kids are given a weekly allowance or encouraged to find a small, part-time job (at the appropriate age) they need to learn the value of money by earning and budgeting their own funds. Working also teaches valuable lessons about time management; doing a job well enhances self-esteem and builds character, and saving for a big purchase is a great opportunity for goal-setting.
#6: Keeping them In The Dark: Many people are uncomfortable talking about money with their children. They want to protect their kids from some of the bitter realities of today’s economic climate. However, it is vital to discuss the problems in our society today and discuss solutions. One great tactic: build a small stock portfolio. Let kids help with the research, pick stocks they like, and watch their investments grow over time. This will teach kids about overspending and setting priorities. They’ll also learn about world events and how they affect our economy and personal finances.
Today’s children are tomorrow’s work force. There’s no better way to invest in the future of our communities and our world than by parenting better. Please feel free to add to these points with your insight and ideas on this subject.
(NOTE: Parenting is THE hardest job in the world and NO ONE is perfect at it. We are all a work in progress…)